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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sister Wives and Polygamy

What's with polygamy and Mormonism anyway?
The questions surrounding polygamy are virtually endless. One term that has become almost synonymous with the word “polygamy” is the word “Mormon.” Any person with an elementary understanding about the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the Mormons) will tell you, “Mormons don’t practice polygamy.” But what about those who claim to be Mormons, and yet still practice it? Better yet, why?

A brief history of Mormon polygamy
As early as 1831, Joseph Smith Jr., the founder of the Latter-day Saint movement was asking questions about plural marriage. Latter-day Saints consider themselves to be “Restorationists”; that is, restoring the beliefs and practices of the early Christian church and the Bible through modern theological applications. Plural marriage was believed to be a part of the practices of the ancient prophets, as illustrated through such Biblical passages as Genesis 16: 1-11; 25:1; 29:8; 30:4, 9, 26; Exodus 21:10; Deuteronomy 17:15-17; 21:15; 2 Samuel 2:2; 5:13; 12:7-9; 1 Kings 11:1-4; 2 Chronicles 13:21; 24:3; and Isaiah 4:1.

Joseph Smith began practicing plural marriage as early as 1833 to 1835 by marrying Fanny Alger; a relationship that quickly dissolved without much notice from lay members of the Church initially, though Oliver Cowdery, a major figure in Mormon history would later refer to the relationship as a “dirty, nasty, filthy affair.” In 1843, a revelation to Joseph concerning certain aspects of plural marriage in relation to Mormon temple practices and theology was received. Joseph would be killed within a year by a mob of critics and dissenters who counted plural marriage among their list of grievances against him.

The "Principle"
Even after Joseph’s death, plural marriage was not set up as a commandment among practicing Mormons. In 1852, Brigham Young, Joseph’s successor, would make the practice known to the Church as a whole. Within ten years, the first legislation banning plural marriage was passed in Congress. Most Mormons never practiced polygamy, as only 15-25% were ever involved in it. While the Territory of Utah had several thousand emigrants arriving each year, statehood was not possible as long as plural marriage was being practiced among the Mormons. Utah had also granted women the right to vote, which angered anti-polygamy lawmakers in the east. In 1890, an Official Proclamation to the Church was read by Mormon Church President Wilford Woodruff, setting in stone a system of policies that would eventually prohibit polygamy among the Mormons.

Why did it end?
Eventually, questions would arise concerning the validity of Joseph Smith’s first revelation. If Joseph was told by God to practice polygamy, why would God prohibit it later? There are a number of factors that must be applied in properly answering this question. It may surprise some readers of this blog to know that the Book of Mormon, the “keystone” of the Mormon religion, relatively frowns on polygamy. Jacob, an ancient prophet in the Book of Mormon narrative condemned the unauthorized practice of plural marriage; that is, those who felt they were justified in taking additional wives without a revelation or approval from God. Said Jacob:
“Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none; For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts. Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes. For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.” (Jacob 2: 27-30)
Thus the feasible reason to justify plural marriage according to the Book of Mormon was for the purpose of “raising up seed,” otherwise, monogamy was always the commandment. What then, about the revelation? Was it meant to be eternal? Was it temporal? Aren’t the laws of God higher than the laws of men? Why did polygamy stop? A revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants answers this question completely.
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.” (D&C 124:49)
As far as plural marriage was concerned, all that had been required among the Mormons had been complete. They had fought legislation for over 30 years. Church leaders were forced to go into hiding, many of whom spent time in prison for the practice. Church property was being confiscated and the Church was being disenfranchised. Wilford Woodruff’s Official Declaration reconciled the demands of the United States’ Government and the freedom of worship among Latter-day Saints. Those who practiced the principle were no longer required to live in plural marriages.

The rise of Mormon fundamentalism
Polygamy still continued among the Mormons after the 1890 manifesto. In 1904, LDS Church President Joseph F. Smith (himself a polygamist) ended the practice completely by releasing a second manifesto. Soon, all those who entered into plural marriages after the second manifesto were excommunicated. The new policy did not sit well with a small number of Mormons, particularly those who were already living the principle.

Eventually, splinter groups formed in spite of the new policies. All Mormons who were found participating in these groups were excommunicated. Those who joined these splinter groups are known as fundamentalists, or “Mormon fundamentalists.” The two largest fundamentalist splinter groups are the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and the Apostolic United Brethren, also referred to as “The Work,” “The Priesthood,” or “The Group.” The AUB is much more open to media outlets than the FLDS and are much less oppressive, not typically wearing “prairie burkas” that have been associated with other fundamentalist groups. The group forbids underage marriage, assimilates relatively well into surrounding communities and allows children to attend public schools due in large part to the late Owen Allred, a former leader of the sect.

Where do the Brown’s fit into this picture?
Sister Wives - First Sneak Peek
Kody, the family patriarch was raised in Northern Wyoming. His father in turn, joined the Apostolic United Brethren while Kody was a teenager. Kody subsequently joined the sect and married Meri (raised in a polygamist home) Janelle (formerly LDS raised in a monogamous home) and Christine (raised in a polygamist home). From the first episode, Kody has done a good job at distinguishing the differences between his own sect and that of the mainstream LDS Church which prohibited plural marriage over a hundred years ago, a comparison he likens to “Catholics and Protestants.”

The only other mention of the LDS Church was made by Janelle, who of course was raised in an LDS home, became friends with Kody and Meri, and subsequently joined the sect and married Kody after she experienced what she called a “spiritual witness.” The family has daily prayers, formatted similarly to prayers said in typical Latter-day Saint homes. The children kneel and “fold their arms” like typical LDS families, which may be an influence from Janelle’s LDS upbringing. The Brown family policy is that “love should be multiplied, not divided.”

Sister Wives chronicles the Brown family’s adjustment to Kody taking a fourth wife, Robyn, who was raised in a polygamous home and is a divorced mother of three. As a side note her home featured a painting of Christ by the popular Latter-day Saint artist Greg Olsen. Given the fact that Olsen’s paintings can be found in homes of those of virtually any faith, the existence of such a painting is not conclusive evidence that Robyn is a member of the LDS faith.

What does this all mean?
In my opinion, members of the LDS Church should not be concerned with Sister Wives or the misconceptions and caricatures that are often associated with polygamy and the LDS Church. While I do not support the practice of plural marriage by fundamentalist sects, as a Latter-day Saint I feel that as long as proper clarifications are made between the groups, there should be no relative repercussions from inquiring minds as future episodes of Sister Wives continue to unfold. Latter-day Saints and inquiring minds need only know that plural marriage, as it was practiced from 1852-1904 is no longer practiced by the Church today. There is no relationship whatsoever between the LDS Church and the Apostolic United Brethren.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Where are they now?

Have you ever wondered what happened to that favorite star from that favorite TV show or movie you used to love so much? Well, the other day, I was speaking to a friend and he mentioned all those old shows we used to love to watch on say....Saturday mornings? One show came to mind, and I wondered...hmm...what happened to Buck Rogers?

If you're like me, a child of the 70s and 80s, you remember a show called "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century." That devilishly handsome, if not misplaced Buck, who "woke up" in a different time period than his own. Well, we know what happened to Buck, but what happened to the actor who played him?

That actor is Gil Gerard. When Gil's name is mentioned, I instantly think of that show. While he appeared in a number of movies and TV roles, I believe this is the role he is most identified for.

Gil's past: He was born January 23, 2943 in Little Rock, Arkansas. He attended the University of Arkansas but dropped out before graduation. He landed a job as an industrial chemist. He became regional manager of a large chemical company headed by governor Wynn Rockefeller in a few years. His employers said they would name him the firm's vice president if he went back for his master's degree so he quit rather than tell everyone that he didn't have a college diploma. He studied drama in New York by day and drove a cab at night. One night Gil picked up a fare who showed a lively interest in the problems of unknown, unemployed actors. Before he left the cab, he told Gil to report in a few days to the set of Love Story, which was being filmed on location in New York. When Gil arrived on the Love Story set, he was hired as an extra. Later that day, he was singled out for a 'bit' role, which eventually wound up on the cutting room floor. Oddly enough, he started his career in the soap opera 'The Doctors' 1973-1976. He married Connie Selleca in 1979 (they later divorced in 1987) and fathered a son, Gil. He then married Bobi Leonard in 1988 and divorced in 1989.

Well, you ask, where is he now? Gil started his own company Prudhomme Productions. He now enjoys directing and producing more than being in front of the camera. He appears all over the world at various Sci-Fi conventions. He is also active in charity work. He supports the Special Olympics, working with Los Angels Mission (an organization that helps the homeless), and takes part in the Hack-N-Smack celebrity golf tournament that supports melanoma research.

So just because we don't see or hear about an actor from another time, doesn't mean they aren't out there doing their thing. What their "thing" is, well, that's another story.


Thursday, August 18, 2011

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo F. Buscaglia

Actually, there isn’t any art behind it. Just that you were born to be happy, and you can show this happiness with that beautiful smile of yours. C’mon! Let’s see it. :) Okay, good.

To some extent, we all know how to spot a genuine smile, basically this formula:

Genuine Smile = Crinkly Eyes

We are all sensitive to this genuine scale, so why then is it that when we cross paths with a stranger or casual acquaintance in the elevator, we give them a fake smile? That ‘polite smile’. You know what I’m talking about (don’t get me wrong, I do this too, unconscious at grocery stores, on streets, while waiting for something.).

The lesson? Smile with your eyes! Feel it genuinely and it will come out naturally.

A smile is so simple, yet so powerful. Some noticeable effects of externalizing your internal joy are:

  • People will be attracted to you – I don’t mean sexually (well, maybe that too), but people will feel drawn to your energy. When you smile more, you will carry an aura and poise that will draw people to you. People will look forward to being around you, knowing only that they feel great around you. People on the street, at work, your friends etc. We all like and want to be around happy and cheerful people, right?
  • Optimistic – You’ll feel more positive about yourself and the world.
  • Happiness & Joy – A smile is an expression of happiness and joy in you. Like an upward spiral, a smile will boost the happiness you feel.
  • Healthy – A smile can affect your internal state, which can have physiological impact on your physical and mental health.
  • Approachable – A smile is so welcoming and will make people feel more at ease.
  • Making Other People Happy – A smile has the power to make other people feel good about themselves. It’s heart-warming and has the power to cheer up others instantly.
  • Smiles Are Contagious – Others can quickly and easily catch it and will experience the above ‘side effects’.

Smile Challenge:

  • Smile at Strangers -You know those times when we cross paths with a stranger or accidentally catch someone’s gaze, and we (both) would suddenly look away in awkwardness or pretend we are looking at something else? Well, the challenge is to give them a big smile. A genuine smile, showing teeth and everything. Deepak Chopra talks about giving each person you encounter a small gift. I do this with a smile. Why not? It doesn’t cost us anything. Plus, it’s a lot more fun than feeling awkward and pretending you’re not there. I also love to see people’s reactions when you smile at them, and they aren’t expecting it. Some blush, and others are surprised and smile back, which makes me feel all warm inside.
  • Smile at Homeless People and Street Hagglers – I used to work in downtown Chicago near lots of street hagglers and homeless people. People often ask me whether I get ‘harassed’ often. The answer is: sometimes. But they really are very nice, just like the rest of us. They too need attention and acknowledgment. So, give them a gift worth more than money. Next time someone asks you for money, don’t try to ignore them. Turn to them, smile warmly and tell them how you feel. If you don’t feel like giving money, just tell them “Sorry, I don’t have change now. Have a beautiful day!” Similarly, if something is trying to sell you something or ‘hitting-on’ you, simply turn to them, smile and say “No thank you.” I’ve found that it takes more energy to ignore and pretend to be very serious, than it is to smile. So smile! Make someone’s day!
  • Smile Fully -You know that half smile we give people when we’re trying to be polite? Like on an elevator, bumping in someone at the front door, or waiting in line. Why not practice giving them a real smile? It’ll be less awkward and you can potentially make someone’s day, or a new friend!
  • Smile at Work -Living under a routine, we can easily be in a zombie-like state when coming into work. We zip into work quickly following the same routines we’ve habituated. Our target is to get to work, and we can sometimes forget about the people around us, in other cubes/offices/departments. So, the challenge is to practice beaming with smile as you come into work. Smile genuinely with people you meet. Be completely pleased to see them. Make it a focus for the day, to bring more happiness into the lives of others. Ask them genuinely and infused with energy, “How are ya?”How was your weekend?” Watch the smiles surface on their face.
  • A Small Compliment with Your Smile -When meeting or encountering people. Look for things you admire or like about them, however small, let them know. A small genuine compliment can go a long way to lift people’s spirits.

I’ve found it useful to be conscious of things that make me smile. You might want to spend a few minutes making a list of things that brings a smile to your face.

Some Moments That Make Me Smile are:

  • When Cheddar (my cat) does one of his tricks: spin in circles, playing dead, or chases his tail (that’s right, just like a dog… *laughs*).
  • When I practice gratitude ‘sessions’
  • When I reach mini goals throughout the day.
  • When I read comments left by readers.
  • When savoring sweet taste of mint chocolate chip ice cream
  • When I do my happy dance, and make friends laugh with my ridiculousness.

More Tips To Bring Smiles into Your Life

  • Smiling Journal – For two weeks, record the moments that brought out your wonderful smile. If you are ever feel down, flip through this book to be reminded of things that make you smile. Experience those moments and notice your state shift to a positive one. You cannot be both angry and smiling at the same time. I learned in physiological psychology that if the physical action conflicts with that of your feeling, the feeling inside will shift to match that of your outer sensation. One way to shift your emotion is to change your physiology.
  • Appreciation – Identify things that you are grateful for. Then focus on those things as much as possible.
  • Humor – Make a point to watch a comedy movie. To go a comedy club. Hang out with people who make you laugh.
  • Go On a Self Date – When we feel more connected with ourselves, we feel more joy and tend to naturally smile more.
  • Find Innocence - Observe a small child or a pet at play with total ease and freedom. Watch their innocence, enjoy their presence and yours. Are you smiling? Do you feel happy for them? That’s because you are connecting with the same innocence within yourself.

What makes you smile? Who made you smile today? Share your joy and happiness in a comment! See you there. *smiles*

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Happy Birthday...

Cheddar....

*snuggles*

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Take a listen...

Embrace's first track...

enjoy!