Nu? ...you have questions?

I am sure some of you are asking, "When did all this happen?...When did you become a believer in Yeshua?" Well, I have to tell you that I am not quite sure. I believe it was there all along, but like most people in my situation or ..rather..at the place I was ...in my spiritual journey, I denied its existence. I was lost spiritually.

It took some rather odd steps to actually acknowledge my belief and stop worrying what about other people thought...especially my family.

I come from a fairly observant Jewish family. My grandmother instilled in me a love of Shabbat by lighting the candles each Friday night until she could no longer do it; a love of Jewish cooking, from her sweet and sour meatballs to mandel bread, and so much more. My mom brought me to temple every Saturday morning and I also went to religious school....religiously. I wasn't Bat Mitzvah'd until I was 19 years old (a little late, but better late than never), at which time, our rabbi mentioned to me that he thought I would make a good rabbi. I scoffed at this, but it never really left my mind. I couldn't conceive of doing this, not with the questions I had running through my mind.

I thought to myself, even back then, "Whats the difference between a Jewish person and a non-Jewish person other than the belief in Christ?" I wasn't given sufficient answers. But being the "good girl" that I was, I just accepted things the way they were. Knew I was "Jewish" but never pressed for more answers. Trust me, though, the questions were still there. I just never had the guts to look for the answers.

What stopped me, you might ask?

Simple.....the voices in my head.

No, I am not "crazy"...the voices weren't telling me to do something. I am quite sure they were the whispers of many generations of Jews in my family saying "Are you crazy!? Believe in ...Christ?! We just don't do that!" Or the best ones "You will be an outcast...your family will disown you!" So I left well enough alone and ignored the OTHER voice in my head that said "I am telling you what to do...do it! Trust in ME..." Well...I didn't trust in Him.

Many, MANY years later, I was still struggling with my faith. Questions still went unanswered. Then God intervened. He sent me on a job interview. Normally, I would not have answered an ad for a church...it just wasn't what a good little Jewish girl would do. Work at a church? Are you kidding me!? But something told me to, and I listened. That's the day I met Angie.

That's also where my REAL journey began again. Where I finally didn't feel so lost. Through her sermons, her patience with me while I asked all sorts of questions, comparing what I had learned and what I wanted to learn; and most of all, through the way she explained her theology, I was able to take those questions out of my head and verbalize them. Combined with another friend I met..Brian (who is now, himself, an ordained Pastor)..I was able to piece together where my life was going. I finally stopped listening to the "family" and started listening to God.

Now, two years later, I am finally acknowledging my belief and acting on it. I have never been more at peace than I am now. Funny how that works..... I actually found my spiritual compass.

Yeshiva or bust....

The date is September 15, 2009, and I hold in my hands, the acceptance letter into a Yeshiva program. Which basically means that in a period of years (not too many, I hope), I will take my place among those, such as Sally J. Priesand, who became the nation's first female rabbi (1972) and others like her, when I become a Messianic Rabbi. It feels so surreal, even though I have the confirmation to prove it. When all is said and done, I will have a Bachelors in Bible with a focus on Messianic Judaism, a Masters in Theology and if I feel ambitious, a doctorate in divinity. Then it will be on to ordination.

Can you imagine it!? ME?...a Messianic Rabbi!? What would my mom and grandma say...? Would they approve...? I wish I knew...

...fast forward to this morning when I woke up and wondered what I was thinking. I mean, I am 43 years old, changing careers (sort of), and wondering if I can really learn all of this.

I look at the text that I am reading and think, "Can I really do this?" or "What ARE they talking about?" or "Am I smart enough?" or ..the MOST important..."Am I dedicated enough?" I know the answers. I know what other people would tell me. I even think I know what God would say. Faith...I have to have faith that He's guiding me here for a reason. He's led me through so much already that I have to believe...no...I DO believe that He has a plan. It's just so much bigger than I am. I'm just a small piece of the puzzle. All I can say is "Thank you, God, for allowing me to become that piece."

Tattoos....what about 'em?

Would-be prime ministers' wives have them. Lawyers have them. Doctors have them. So how did tattoos become so acceptable?

Sailors. Prisoners. Bikers. Tattoos in the Western world were once the mark of the outcast, of the rocker and the rebel - of a certain kind of macho culture.

And yet now when the latest celebrity tattoo is revealed the gist of the discussion is usually an evaluation of the merits of the design, of the choice of Sanskrit or Latin script rather than the fact a public figure is displaying a prominent tattoo.

It's now just an everyday thing. An event like the International London Tattoo Convention can attract thousands of punters, queuing round the block to get tattoos and to witness the human canvasses covered in eye-wateringly intricate designs.

Here one can find flaming dragons, vivid carp, stylized 50s pin-up girls and a cornucopia of other alternative imagery. And the whole thing is underpinned by a dramatic shift in the status of the once-humble tat.

David Cameron's wife Samantha has attracted a soupcon of aggressive press coverage, over her plugging of her stationery firm's products rather than her discreet tattoo of a dolphin on her ankle.

But how did tattoos become all right for "normal" people and, most of all, for women?

Among the scores of artists at the convention is Alan Dean, 61, from Luton, who has been a tattooist since the age of 16. In those days the equipment was all home-made and the ink was obtained from art shops in a process of trial and error. He has seen a dramatic change since then.

"Tattooing used to be the preserve of people who were too lazy to work and too scared to steal. Nowadays you have got proper artists," he suggests.

"A lot of people wanted tattoos years ago but they were associated with freaks and prostitutes. I get a lot of women coming saying they should have had them 20 years ago."

As with so many social phenomena, the change in the status of the tattoo has happened simultaneously in the UK and US.

American-born Lynette Blinne took her daughter Kristen to get her first tattoo on her 16th birthday. The then 44-year-old English teacher liked the idea so much that she got one on her own birthday, a black cat.

Heck, I took, my (now 19 year old) daughter, Sydney for her first tattoo and even designed it. I got my first tattoo at the age of 33 and now have 3, with the most recent being "inked" a month ago.

"It is not considered lowlife as it perhaps was once. Many people are now going for their first tattoo in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s," she insists.

"Do English teachers do things like this? You'll find they do. You'll find tattoos in accounting and lawyers and every straight-up job. It isn't just alternative people."

A million miles away from the tattoo "addicts" who throng the convention is Grace Sproat, a 31-year-old GP who is perhaps representative of the new tattoo customer base. She has an easily-hidden gecko lizard on her lower back.

"I still haven't officially told my parents and I got it in 1996, 11 years ago. It was sort of rebellious but not really because I could cover it up and no-one would have seen.

"I just wanted to mark myself out, put something on myself that made me unique."

Katherine Irwin, associate professor of sociology at the University of Hawaii, has studied the cultural significance of the rise of tattooing among mainstream people in the West.

But she points out that in 19th Century Europe it was fashionable among some sections of the upper class to have discreet tattoos, of family crests and other aristocratic emblems. Tattoos have gone in and out of the mainstream, she insists.

"They became a symbol of working class masculinity. Now they are being recrafted into a middle class symbol.

"They like to play with fringe identities without sacrificing their middle class status. They get a tattoo that is thumbing their nose at middle class society in a way that is so mainstream that it would be hard to push them out.

"They don't get anything super-fringe, they weren't doing bloody skull and crossbones."

At the convention, among the adverts for tools like the "chrome buzzard" and the "cutback liner", there is an advertising banner bearing the legend "We Can Make Anyone Look Cool".

And that is the promise of the tattoo - that the ordinary unadorned stretch of arm or leg or stomach will be transformed into a canvas for a statement, either artistic or counter-cultural, of cool.

For the women milling around the convention the most popular explanation of the motive for getting a tattoo is about "reasserting control over your own body". In a Western world where body image, plastic surgery, anorexia and the depiction of women is a topic of daily debate, tattoos represent a different current of thought.

It is a sentiment that Margot Mifflin, author of Bodies of Subversion: A Secret History of Women and Tattoo, believes dates back to the 1980s.

"In the 1980s it was a real body decade," she says. "There was a lot of body anxiety. Women wanted to reassert control over their own bodies."

Christine Whittington, co-author of Body Marks: Tattooing, Piercing, and Scarification, got her first tattoo in her 40s and traces the change in tattoos to the rise of proper artists in the 1970s. "It was moved out of the danger zone," she says.

But the political thread is still clear at London's convention. Leah Schein, 23, who has a tattoo of a Wiccan moon goddess, says: "It's a lot to do with having control over your own image and control over your own body."

Laura, a student nurse, says it is all about the art for tattooed women. "They don't see it as a sailor tattoo or slaggish. Our culture has changed."

But it certainly seems the case that rather than emblems of feminist struggle many of the women who get tattoos seem to opt for what might be seen as traditionally feminine themes.

Mike Phillips, who runs Reading Ink, says more women than men attend his parlour, but that the choices of image are different.

"Men get bigger stuff though. With women it's stars, flowers, cherubs."

But for those, both male and female, who are persuaded by the images of tattooed celebrities in the media, 60-year-old tattoo-festooned veteran Colin Snow has a warning.

"Fashions change but tattoos are forever."

Boys and Shaving

What fascinates boys and their obsession with shaving? I mean, dont they have enough stuff to do without worrying about shaving? Well, it seems ONE man (or little man) decided he wanted to see what it was like to shave................his legs!!

Adam, my 7 year old son, got ahold of one of his sister's razors...and tried shaving his legs. Granted, its comical now, but at the time, when he "cut himself shaving" it wasnt so funny.

So what is the obsession?

Guys? Can you tell me!? Why your legs?

*sighs*

Three words... I LOVE YOU

We only get one chance in this world, so why is it that we find some things so hard to express to the ones that we truly feel those emotions for?

My theory is that we are scared; not of what might be said in return, but what those 3 little words in particular mean. They are not to be taken lightly and carry a lot of weight, they can be good to know, but hard to hear; they can be said and not returned; but ultimately, when they are said and are returned, is when the scariest of all things occurs, a true relationship. I know you are all thinking "hey I'm in one, been there, done that, got the t-shirt" but are you really?

Have you woken up each day, gone to bed each night, thinking only of that one person, would you lay down your life, give your last dime, and share your darkest secrets and most embarrassing moments with them?

It's so hard in life to find that "one" but when you do, be sure you hang on tight and cherish the time you have.

Don't use them loosely, they mean TOO MUCH!

Da Band....

...singing "A New Hallelujah"....enjoy!

Six

This is my precious daughter and she had a birthday this week.

I cannot tell you what this child has done for my life. She has enriched it in so many ways. She brings countless joy into every life she touches.

She is both girly and tomboy-ish. She has wit and charm and everything you can imagine in someone of her size. Shes not afraid to bully her brothers if they get in her face, or use that little pinky that has her daddy wrapped around it to get what she wants. Ok...she does it to mom too....I am not immune to her "wiles"...

Looking at your face, I see expressions that touch the deepest recesses of my heart and my soul.

Happy birthday my beautiful daughter.

The Concert

My darling daughter took this video at my December concert. Granted it isn't the best, but...its what I have.

So those of you that have been nagging, yes NAGGING, to see it, here you go.

For those of you that didn't care....move along...nothing to see here!!

Only Hope....

There's a song that's inside of my soul....

...you're my only hope.

Those were the days....

1773 - The first public museum was organized -- in Charleston, South Carolina.

1928 - Vladimir Horowitz debuted as a soloist with the New York Philharmonic at Carnegie Hall in New York City. It was the very same night that Sir Thomas Beecham gave his first public performance in the United States.

1932 - Ed Sullivan joined CBS radio in a program of gossip and interviews.

1939 - The Ink Spots gained national attention after five years together as they recorded, If I Didn’t Care, Decca record number 2286. Many other standards by the group soon followed.

1943 - Oh my gosh! It’s frankfurter day! The Office of Price Administration announced that the standard frankfurter/hot dog/wiener would be replaced by ‘Victory Sausage’; made of meat and soybean meal. Yum! Yum!

1949 - Arthur Godfrey and His Friends was first seen on CBS-TV this day. The program stayed on the network for seven years.

1949 - The Chicago-based children’s show, Kukla, Fran and Ollie, made its national debut on NBC-TV. Fran Allison was hostess. The show was phenomenally successful.

1955 - The beginning of Rod Serling’s stellar career began with the TV production of Patterns, an original, hour-long drama. Within two weeks, the then struggling author had 23 other TV assignments.

1960 - Dolph Schayes of the Syracuse Nationals became the first pro basketball player in the NBA to score more than 15,000 points in his career.

1963 - Songwriter Bob Dylan sang Blowin’ in the Wind on the BBC radio presentation of The Madhouse on Castle Street. The song soon became one of the classics of the 1960s protest movement.

1965 - The NBC-TV pop-music show Hullabaloo made its debut. A competitor of ABC’s successful Shindig show, Hullabaloo tried to attract a wider audience by featuring both rock music and Las Vegas-type acts. Guests on the first show included the New Christy Minstrels, Gerry and the Pacemakers, the Zombies and Woody Allen. Hullabaloo lasted on the air through Aug 29, 1966.

1966 - Batman debuted -- on ABC-TV. Adam West starred as Batman and Burt Ward was the Bat-Boy, Robin. Pow! Zork! Crunch! Holy hot cakes, Batman!

1967 - “This is the city...” One of broadcasting’s greatest hits, Dragnet, returned to NBC-TV after being off the network schedule for eight years. Harry Morgan was Jack Webb’s sidekick in the renewed series. “Just the facts, ma’am.”

1969 - Super Bowl III (at Miami): NY Jets 16, Baltimore Colts 7. Joe Namath and his Cinderella Jets snuck up on the heavily-favored Colts. MVP: Jets’ QB Namath. Tickets: $12.00.

1971 - All In the Family debuted on CBS-TV. Carroll O’Connor starred as Archie Bunker, Rob Reiner as Meathead, Sally Struthers as Gloria and Jean Stapleton as Edith, ‘The Dingbat’. “Stifle yourself!” Originally, ABC had plans to broadcast the series under the title, Those Were the Days.

1975 - Super Bowl IX (at New Orleans): Pittsburgh Steelers 16, Minnesota Vikings 6. The Steelers draft picks (spring, 1974) were Lynn Swann, Jack Lambert, John Stallworth and free agent Donnie Shell. Between them, 28 Pro Bowl appearances, 20 Super Bowl rings, and probably five Pro Football Hall of Fame selections. MVP: Steelers’ RB Franco Harris. Tickets: $20.00.

1985 - After a record 24 weeks as the #1 album in the nation, Prince slipped to the #2 spot with Purple Rain. Replacing Prince at the top spot: ‘The Boss’ Bruce Springsteen’s Born In the USA, which had spent 24 weeks waiting for Purple Rain to fall.

1987 - Europe was snowed-in with a pounding of white stuff and frigid temperatures as a ‘Siberian Express’ spread across the continent.

1991 - Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 became the first album to generate seven top-five singles on the Billboard Hot 100 (four went to number one). Love Will Never Do (Without You) reached #4 this day and it hit #1 the following week.

1996 - These films debuted in U.S. theatres: Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (“God made him simple. Science made him a god. Now, he wants revenge.”), with Patrick Bergin and Matt Frewer; and Two If By Sea (“A new comedy about love, laughter, and larceny.”), starring Sandra Bullock and Denis Leary.

1999 - Mark McGwire’s 70th home run ball was sold at auction in New York for $3 million to an anonymous bidder. It was the most money ever paid for a sports artifact. McGwire's ball was retrieved Sep 27, 1998 by 26-year-old research scientist Philip Ozersky, who had been attending the game with a group of office friends from Washington University in St. Louis when the ball came flying at him.

2001 - Movies premiering in the U.S.: Antitrust, with Ryan Phillippe and Rachael Leigh Cook; Before Night Falls, starring Javier Bardem, Olivier Martinez, Andrea Di Stefano and Johnny Depp; Double Take, with Eddie Griffin and Orlando Jones; Finding Forrester, starring Sean Connery, Rob Brown, F. Murray Abraham and Anna Paquin; O Brother, Where Art Thou?, featuring George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, Charles Durning and John Goodman; and Thirteen Days, starring Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood and Steven Culp.

....and what did you do today?

Do I need to say more...?

Godspeed...

For those currently serving our country...

For those leaving to serve and protect...

For all of you who have served...

Mom....

...after almost 15 years..I miss you so much....




This...is for you...

It's another new year....

...but for what reason?

"Happy New Year!" That greeting will be said and heard for at least the first couple of weeks as a new year gets under way. But the day celebrated as New Year's Day in modern America was not always January 1.

ANCIENT NEW YEARS
The celebration of the new year is the oldest of all holidays. It was first observed in ancient Babylon about 4000 years ago. In the years around 2000 BC, the Babylonian New Year began with the first New Moon (actually the first visible cresent) after the Vernal Equinox (first day of spring).

The beginning of spring is a logical time to start a new year. After all, it is the season of rebirth, of planting new crops, and of blossoming. January 1, on the other hand, has no astronomical nor agricultural significance. It is purely arbitrary.

The Babylonian new year celebration lasted for eleven days. Each day had its own particular mode of celebration, but it is safe to say that modern New Year's Eve festivities pale in comparison.

The Romans continued to observe the new year in late March, but their calendar was continually tampered with by various emperors so that the calendar soon became out of synchronization with the sun.

In order to set the calendar right, the Roman senate, in 153 BC, declared January 1 to be the beginning of the new year. But tampering continued until Julius Caesar, in 46 BC, established what has come to be known as the Julian Calendar. It again established January 1 as the new year. But in order to synchronize the calendar with the sun, Caesar had to let the previous year drag on for 445 days.

THE CHURCH'S VIEW OF NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS
Although in the first centuries AD the Romans continued celebrating the new year, the early Catholic Church condemned the festivities as paganism. But as Christianity became more widespread, the early church began having its own religious observances concurrently with many of the pagan celebrations, and New Year's Day was no different. New Years is still observed as the Feast of Christ's Circumcision by some denominations.

During the Middle Ages, the Church remained opposed to celebrating New Years. January 1 has been celebrated as a holiday by Western nations for only about the past 400 years.

NEW YEAR TRADITIONS
Other traditions of the season include the making of New Year's resolutions. That tradition also dates back to the early Babylonians. Popular modern resolutions might include the promise to lose weight or quit smoking. The early Babylonian's most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment.

The Tournament of Roses Parade dates back to 1886. In that year, members of the Valley Hunt Club decorated their carriages with flowers. It celebrated the ripening of the orange crop in California.

Although the Rose Bowl football game was first played as a part of the Tournament of Roses in 1902, it was replaced by Roman chariot races the following year. In 1916, the football game returned as the sports centerpiece of the festival.

The tradition of using a baby to signify the new year was begun in Greece around 600 BC. It was their tradition at that time to celebrate their god of wine, Dionysus, by parading a baby in a basket, representing the annual rebirth of that god as the spirit of fertility. Early Egyptians also used a baby as a symbol of rebirth.

Although the early Christians denounced the practice as pagan, the popularity of the baby as a symbol of rebirth forced the Church to reevaluate its position. The Church finally allowed its members to celebrate the new year with a baby, which was to symbolize the birth of the baby Jesus.

The use of an image of a baby with a New Years banner as a symbolic representation of the new year was brought to early America by the Germans. They had used the effigy since the fourteenth century.

FOR LUCK IN THE NEW YEAR
Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. For that reason, it has become common for folks to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year's Day would bring either good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man.

Traditional New Year foods are also thought to bring luck. Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck, because it symbolizes "coming full circle," completing a year's cycle. For that reason, the Dutch believe that eating donuts on New Year's Day will bring good fortune.

Many parts of the U.S. celebrate the new year by consuming black-eyed peas. These legumes are typically accompanied by either hog jowls or ham. Black-eyed peas and other legumes have been considered good luck in many cultures. The hog, and thus its meat, is considered lucky because it symbolizes prosperity. Cabbage is another "good luck" vegetable that is consumed on New Year's Day by many. Cabbage leaves are also considered a sign of prosperity, being representative of paper currency. In some regions, rice is a lucky food that is eaten on New Year's Day.

AULD LANG SYNE
The song, "Auld Lang Syne," is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year. At least partially written by Robert Burns in the 1700's, it was first published in 1796 after Burns' death. Early variations of the song were sung prior to 1700 and inspired Burns to produce the modern rendition. An old Scotch tune, "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago," or simply, "the good old days."

So however you celebrate, whatever your traditions are, whatever songs you sing, make your new year one to remember. Live like today is your last. Love like you have never loved before. And dance, like its your last. And tell the person you love, just what they mean to you....I just did!