"Ohana means family...and family means no one gets left behind ...or forgotten." ~ ~ from Disney's Lilo and Stitch
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
The Countdown Continues Once Again
This will be my first time there (not at Disney!) and I am very excited. It will be great to just relax and be with the "girls," but it will be awesome to try new things (wine, that is) !
I feel bad (NOT!) for my husband who will be home with the kids while Im gone. Im sure he will have many stories to tell me when I return. Some funny and some not-so-funny. Being the awesome dad that he is, he will be just fine without me.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Happy 12th Anniversary!
Forces beyond their control brought them together and to this day, they remain.
Through trials and tribulations, those souls are still together and will continue to do so.
Happy anniversary my love - - my soulmate. I love you more now than I did yesterday and less than tomorrow.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Sweetest Day?
Origin of Sweetest Day
The origin of Sweetest day is frequently attributed to candy company employee Herbert Birch Kingston as an act of philanthropy. However Bill Lubinger, a reporter for The Cleveland Plain Dealer, contends that "...Cleveland's top candy makers concocted the promotion 84 years ago and it stuck, although it never became as widely accepted as hoped." This claim is based on the The Cleveland Plain Dealer October 8, 1921 edition, which chronicles the first Sweetest day in Cleveland. According to the newspaper it was planned by a committee of 12 confectioners, who distributed 19,500 boxes of candy to newsboys, homeless people, orphans, and others who had fallen on hard times in Cleveland, Ohio. The Sweetest Day in the Year Committee was assisted in the distribution of candy by some of the biggest movie stars of the day including Theda Bara and Anne Pennington. Leigh Eric Schmidt traces the origin back to 1910 in his book Consumer Rites: The Buying and Selling of American Holidays, where he argues that "Sweetest Day" is a later incarnation of the failed attempt to create a "Candy Day" holiday.
Sweetest Day Today
This tradition now largely involves giving small presents such as greeting cards, candy, and flowers to loved ones. While it is not as large or widely observed as Valentine's Day, it is still celebrated in parts of the United States; despite persistent allegations of being a Hallmark holiday.
What do YOU think?
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Fifteen Days until....
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Happy Birthday My Sweet Daughter
Happy birthday my sweet....I love you more now as each day goes by and less then I will love you tomorrow.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Open and Closing Doors
I am working for an up and coming furniture and design place called JulianoFurniture (www.julianofurniture.com) where I am not only adding to the website, but I am choosing the peices that are to be sold.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Happy Adoption Day!
However, it took a bit of time for the courts to catch up to what we were thinking and feeling. Now today, August 29, 2006 it is one year that we are officially their parents.
People have asked us if we would change our minds if we had to do it all over again and I know I can speak for my oldest children and my husband that we would do this all over again - - these are our children.
Just like in Lilo and Stitch - "Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten" - thats our family motto. A motto we live by. No matter where we are, we are family!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Disney - Part One
Our Family Vacation - Part 1
Now that you have seen the unedited version - here is Part 1 of the edited version....enjoy!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Here it is folks . . .
July 06 - Family Vacation
...the long awaited slideshow of our trip to Disney - - so pop some popcorn, grab a beverage, sit back in your chair and enjoy!
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Birthmothers Day - -
Mother's Day is unique in the adoption community. There are an estimated 6 million adoptees in the US alone - plus millions elsewhere around the world - and they've each got two mothers: the one who is parenting and the one who gave birth.
Mother's Day, celebrated since the days of Ancient Greece, is observed on the second Sunday of May. And ever since 1990, when it was first celebrated in Seattle, Birth Mother's Day (or First Mother's Day) has been observed on the Saturday before Mother's Day.
Mary Jean Wolch-Marsh first conceived the ideas of Birthmother's Day as a result of her own adoption experience. She knew she was a mother, but didnt feel recognized as such, either by those around her or by her daughter's parents. Remembering the feelings she'd experienced at her daughter's birth - feelings of triumph and euphoria - she used them to help in her own healing.
May Birth Mother's Day bring acknowledgement and recognition to every birth mother who ever loved a child lost to adoption. May it honor and celebrate every mother who became childless after birthing a child, and was forgotten on Mother's Day.
In our family, we recognize our childrens' birthmother all the time. She, unfortunately, may not think that we care about her at all, but we do. She may think that we are cruel to not feel that it is not appropriate at this time for a visit, but we do feel that this is the best thing. Only time will tell, however.
We have made a promise in our family to do only things that are healthy for our family - even if it may not be the right choices for others. So far they work. In time, if our choices are not healthy anymore for our family, then we will change our choices and do what is best for everyone. Until then, however, we do things that are healthy for us - - now.
We believe in being honest with our children and they know that their birthmother has asked to see them and that we have said no - at this time. They have asked why we said that and we explained to them that they needed more time to heal and that their birthmother also needed time to heal and to become someone that they would be proud of. They understood.
So until then, we honor their birthmother each day- not just on Birthmother's Day - because without her, we wouldnt have our wonderful gifts - our children.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Watch out Bert, Ernie and Elmo....
Friday, August 11, 2006
Kids!! What are they thinking?
But it got me thinking - why do this? What are you going to accomplish by putting something up your nose? So I did some research - here is what I found....
Kids and Health: A Bean Up the Nose is Nothing to Sneeze At
by Dr. Robert Nohle
Kids are kids; they put things where they shouldn't go. Sometimes (luckily!) it is the cell phone in the toilet or the rubber dinosaur up the bathtub spigot.
My own daughter managed to put nearly half a deck of playing cards in the DVD player and the surprising thing is that it still worked for months until we ultimately found the missing cards. Other times it is a little more worrisome, such as when they put stuff in their mouths, ears, noses and other orifices.
We expect babies and toddlers to put just about everything in their mouths -- and we usually are pretty vigilant about making sure small and hazardous items are away from their reach.
However, don't think you are in the clear just because you have a school-age child! An older child will sometimes intentionally put something somewhere in their body just "because" -- because they are bored, because they just want to see what happens, or because a friend or sibling encourages them.
Most times, the bean in the nose, the quarter found in the toilet (use your imagination) or the Battleship game piece in the ear can become part of family lore, brought up and giggled over through the years. However these incidents are not always amusing -- sometimes serious harm or death can occur.
Kids stick more than their fingers up their noses. Very often kids will stick food or paper up their noses -- which can absorb moisture and swell. Be sure that you are confident you can remove the item before attempting to do it yourself. A physician can use suction to remove a stubborn item, and again, can treat or prevent infection.
Dr. Robert Nohle is chief of pediatrics for Seattle-based Group Health Cooperative. His column runs the first Thursday of every month. Have a question or comment for Dr. Nohle? Contact him at health@seattlepi.com.
Monday, August 7, 2006
Who Nu? A Vulcan Salute
Useless information? I dont think so - -
Friday, August 4, 2006
Baby Boy
Seriously though - - my son has been a source of joy in my life - yes, hes a challenge at times (as he is Autistic) - - but for the most part, I wouldnt trade him in for anything.
So happy birthday my son - - I wish you only happiness and joy for your entire life. Know that you are loved unconditionally - even when we are angry with you.
Happy 18th Birthday!
Monday, July 31, 2006
We're back!
We took a boatload of pictures and will post some and tell you all about our trip in a series of future blogs - so stay tuned!
And for those of you that were sick of my countdown - just wait until our next trip!
Have a Disney day! It still IS all about the Mouse!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Tomorrow!!!!
The kids are excited, the suitcases are almost all packed, the parents have gotten no sleep wondering if we have forgotten something, but all in all, we are ALL excited about going.
I will take plenty of pictures and share them with those of you that are willing to sit through them.
Until then - remember to have a Disney day!
Thursday, July 20, 2006
This too shall pass...
King Solomon, the wisest man in the world, had a servant that was his favorite. Why? Because anything he asked him to do he did perfectly. But the other servants in the palace got very jealous. The wise king knew that the jealousy was very bad and he had to do something about it. So the king decided that he would give this servant a job that is impossible to do. The king thought that the servant will not succeed, he will put him down in front of all the other servants, it will make everybody equal and there will be no jealousy in the palace. So the king called the servant, one month before "Pesach holiday" and he made up a story. He told the servant that he heard about a special ring that when you wear it when you are sad you become happy and when you wear it when you are happy you become sad. The king said: "I want it. Can you get it?"
"Did I ever disappoint you? " said the servant; "of course I can get it"!
"Very well" said the king, "bring it to me in 'Pesach' evening."
"'Pesach'?" asked the servant " it is one month away, I can get it to you in couple days." "No, no" said the king, "bring it to me as a present from you, for 'Pesach' and give it to me at the "Seder" dinner."
"Yes, my king" said the servant. The servant took a group of people, divided them to four different groups and sent one to the North, one to the South, one to the East, and one to the West, telling them "go on the way, stop anyone you meet, and ask him about the ring. If he knows something or heard something or knows somebody who heard or knows something, come back to me, with the information. so we can take directions and get the ring for the king" After two-three days the first mission came back but "Nada" (of course, the king made up the story and there was no such ring). The second mission came back and again "Nothing", third mission, fourth mission and three weeks had passed and the servant got "zippo". He got so nervous. the "Seder" is one week away, and he must find the ring. He started searching for the ring on his own and started walking from place to place, from town to town, from village to village, door to door, house to house, didn't sleep, didn't eat, asked everyone he met and, nothing ("nada"). The night before the "Seder" he came back to
"Can you make such a ring?" The old man thought for a second then he said: "sure it's a piece of cake"
"I can't hear you!" said the king.
"I hope so," said the servant louder.
"Hand it over," said the king. He gave him the ring with a shaking hand. The king took it with a big smile, he put the ring on read what was written on it. Then the face of the king turned over and he become sad. When the servant saw that the king was sad he realized that he got the right ring, and smiled. And on the ring there was a simple sentence in Hebrew "Gam Ze Ya-avor". Which means: "this too shall pass".
This story reminds you that when you have a bad day, it will pass. And when you have a good day seize the moment, enjoy it, appreciate it because you should know it would not last forever.
Mavenhood
Beryl was a kindergarten teacher in a Jewish school. During art class, as she walked around observing the children while they were drawing, she stopped at little Miri's desk. Miri was working very diligently.
Beryl asked, "What are you drawing, Leah?"
"Im drawing God."
Beryl paused. "But no one knows what God looks like, Miri."
Without looking up from her work, Miri answered. "They will in a minute."
Oh yeah - one more day until we go to see the Mouse.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Two more days!
We've been busy packing for the last few days. Hard to imagine that you would need an entire week to pack for a trip. But its true. The little ones need me to pack for them (obviously) so that they actually have clothes to wear because you and I both know that all they would pack would be toys. Then I need to pack for my husband who claims has no fashion sense. I will pack for my oldest son who definately has NO fashion sense whatsoever. If it were up to him all he would wear would be Nascar tshirts and sweatpants. Uh no - not in Florida on vacation! The only one that can truly pack for herself (besides me) is my oldest daughter. She has fashion sense and can pack for herself. I can count on her to make sure she has everything she needs. Although she claims that if she forgets something, mommy can always go and buy it for her - can you say "shopping trip?"
Either way, our family is getting ready to go - - see you next time when there will only be 1 more day til Disney - - bet you cant wait huh?
Monday, July 17, 2006
Oy Gevalt!
Alrightniks (Nouveau Riche)
In typical fashion, Jews deal with "alrightniks" best with humor:
The Glubnocks were redecorating so they called in an interior designer.
"How would you like it furnished" he asked.
"Only the best!" said Mrs. Glubnock.
"I meant, what period?"
"Hmmm," thought Mrs. Glubnock, not wanting to seem unsophisticated, but wondering what grammar had to do with it.
"I meant," said the decorator, "what effect you want to create with a particular period?"
"A-ha!" said Mrs. Glubnock, getting it. "What I want is my friends should walk in, take one look, and drop dead - - period."
Oh yeah - - 4 more days til Disney - - and you thought I forgot.
Friday, July 14, 2006
July 15, 1944 - A Young Voice Never to be Silenced
on this date in 1944
Happy Anniversary!
Eight years ago, my husband and I vowed to love one another through sickness and health, richer or poorer until death do us part. We've been through the sickness and the health and the poorer...can we have some richer now?
Seriously, I remember during our wedding ceremony when the Rabbi read our vows and the content of our ketubah (Jewish marriage contract), my husband looked me straight in the eyes and nodded, agreeing, as was I, to love each other and take care of each other forever. Its been eight years and although we've had our ups and downs (what marriage doesnt?) we are still together. In fact, we wouldnt think of being anywhere else.
In eight years we have not only become a blended family (I have 2 children from a previous marriage), we have added to our family in the form of 3 additional children. Our family is much more than I imagined it would be and I wouldnt want to share it with anyone else. My husband has made me whole in places I didnt know were empty. When Im sad, he lifts me up, when Im happy, he shares in that happiness. When Im scared, he is strong. Hopefully I give him the same comfort as he does me.
We work at our relationship. There isnt a day that goes by that I take for granted what we have. We have talked endlessly about what we want and what we dont. Thankfully, we want the same things - and are willing to work to get them. We have worked very hard so far and its paying off. We have a wonderful friendship as well as a wonderful marriage. We are the best of friends and are each others greatest lovers.
So to all of you out there just starting out, remember, its hard work to be married, but it is SO worth it.
And...in case you thought I forgot - - 7 more days til we see the Mouse.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
The Cos Day
Born William Henry Cosby, Jr. on this day in 1937, he grew up in the
A doctorate in education was in the stars for the TV star. While earning the degree from the
Bill Cosby has touched our lives not only on television, but as an actor, producer, director and screenwriter of films; as an author of the bestsellers, "Fatherhood", "Time Flies" and "Congratulations! Now What? : A Book for Graduates", to name a few titles; as a recording artist (five Grammy Awards for Best Comedy Album), as a spokesperson (Kodak, JELL-O, Coca-Cola, et al.); as a board member of several organizations, including president of the Rhythm and Blues Hall of Fame, and as a philanthropist.
The Cos continues his dedication to education as a trustee of
The
Happy Birthday, Cos.
Oh yeah - in case you were wondering - only 9 more days til Disney.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Oy Vey....
Jews consider themselves mavens (experts), however, rarely do mavens agree.
Tell an Englishman a joke, he'll laugh three times. The first time to be polite, the second when you explain it, the third time in the middle of the night when he suddenly gets it.
A German will laugh twice. The first time to be polite. The second when you explain it. Period. He'll never get it.
An American will laugh once - he'll get it.
A Jew wont laugh at all. He'll say, "Its an old joke, and besides, you tell it all wrong."
Gettin' Some Zzzz's
Last night, like most other nights, our youngest daughter fell asleep in our bed. When she was fully asleep, we put her down in her own bed, where about an hour or so later, she woke up, realized she was in her own bed, climbed out and wandered into our room and crawled in bed with us. And like most nights, we vie for space on the bed. You would think that someone so small (a 3 year old) wouldnt take up so much space. Not her! She takes up most of the bed. She has a tendency to sleep in the weirdest positions. Thus making sleep for the parents not exactly comfortable.
Again, just like most nights, my husband will try to reposition our daughter in a way in which he can actually have space ON the bed and get some much needed rest. Most of the time, he can move her enough to get room to get into bed. If he cannot, he will go into her room and sleep. Not exactly something we like to do. Like most couples we would like to sleep not only in the same house and the same room, but in the same bed.
Im sure as you are reading this, you are saying "why not just put her back again in her own bed?" Easier said than done. You see, she will just get up and wander back into our room and our bed. We dont even know why this is - - she isnt having nighmares - - in fact, one night a few weeks ago, she was actually giggling in her sleep. That was a funny sight! So we dont know what is making her come into our room at night.
Ive read many articles about children at this age and their sleep patterns. I know their little brains are growing and they sleep oddly. And Ive read that you should put a child to sleep in such a way that they can sooth themselves back to sleep if they should wake up. But do we really need to put a TV in her room so that she can fall asleep in her bed therefore stay in it at night? If we do this, wont the other kids want TVs in their rooms too? How do you explain to the rest of the kids that because their little sister cant fall asleep without the TV on that SHE gets a TV in her room and because they stay asleep in their beds they dont need one? Such a dilemma!
So until then, my husband will most likely sleep either in our daughter's bed (while she is in ours) or on the couch. Hopefully while we are in Disney, since she will be sharing a bed with her older sister, our daughter will learn to sleep with her! After all, there's only one of her in THAT bed and much more space. My husband and I might even be "allowed" to share a bed - - we can only hope.
Only 10 more days til the mouse and some much needed sleep - at least for my husband!
Monday, July 10, 2006
11 more days!
My husband and I went and bought some special treats for the kids for the airplane. I had so much fun putting them together last night. We originally were going to give them some coloring books, crayons, etc, but now we are getting them their own carry-on's filled with games, coloring books, and lots of really neat treats. Hopefully that will keep them busy on the 2 1/2 hour flight.
Well, its off to plan some more magical days at Disney...so as always....have a Disney day - - and remember: its all about the Mouse.
Friday, July 7, 2006
Two More Weeks!
I know, I know, you're all getting sick of me blogging about how many days are left til we leave for Disney to see the mouse. But I gotta tell you - this blog makes the time go by faster - ok...its lame, but its how I feel.
Fourteen more days until we pack up 5 kids and 2 parents, take the limo to the airport and board the big silver plane to Orlando. Fourteen more days until we can see the looks on the kids' faces as they get into a limo they've never ridden in before, go to an airport they've never seen before, boarded an airplane they've never been in before and flying to Orlando, Florida: Home of the Mouse. To see life through the kids' eyes. To experience Disney World in through innocent eyes.
Which makes me want to tell each and everyone of you - live life - dont sit on the sidelines. Enjoy it!
Friday, June 30, 2006
21 more days
I see in the kids' faces that they are as anxious as we are to get to Disney and to see the Mouse. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy my time with all my babies. No matter how old they are - they will always be my babies.
Next week I will make sure all the items we need are purchased and set aside (so I can find them!). Then I will make sure they get packed when needed.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
The Countown Continues
The kids are getting very excited as are the grown ups. We've put aside our suitcases and we, as the parents, have "hoarded" away small gifts to use on the airplane for "good behavior" during the 2 1/2 hour flight.
We've also taken the kids to the museum to show them the big airplane and took them inside to get them to see how the seats are. They've even seen the show where you "hear" the engines roar and see the landing gear descent. The kids were quite excited about this. Our youngest son even commented on how "noisy" it was. We assured him that he wouldnt hear the noise in the nice quiet seats inside.
Thats all for now - until next time, remember: Its all about the Mouse.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The Countdown Begins
I cant wait to see the look on the kids' faces when they see how big the plane is that will take us to Orlando and to Mickey Mouse.
I cant wait to see the look on the kids' faces when they FEEL the plane take off and land.
Its an awesome experience!
I think its the trip TO Orlando that is almost as fun as being IN Disney World.
Its about 24 more days until we go to Disney. But who's counting???
Monday, June 5, 2006
Monday Morning Musings
Some other woman gave birth to them and unfortunately, due to her situation, can no longer parent them and gave up her parental rights voluntarily.
All of us need to understand that the children belong to us now. And as their parents we must do whats best for the children - no matter what that is. They arent items to be bargained and "gifted" to one another, they are human lives that need to be loved unconditionally, as we do by choice.
I am aware that the children's birth family is mourning the loss of those children and that there is nothing I can say or do to ease their pain. That this is something they must do on their own. There isnt a day that goes by that I dont wish them well and wish that they can heal and move on with their lives.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Our Adoption Journey
Here is their story:
My husband and I were married in a small, intimate ceremony with my oldest son serving as best man (at the tender age of 9) and my oldest daughter serving as my maid of honor (she was 8). When the kids placed their portions of our wedding rings on our fingers, there wasn't a dry eye in the house - - not even mine! We were and are still very happy.
We always talked about having children and never dreamed we wouldn't be able to conceive a child. About 3 months after we were married, I developed a severe case of heartburn. After months of whining about how many Tums I was eating and people yelling at me to go to the doctor, I made an appointment. I figured, while I was there, I would ask the doctor to schedule a reversal of the tubal ligation I had many years before. It had been a year since I had my "yearly exam" so I figured I would get it all over with and then discuss the surgery. During the visit, the doctor's reply was "first things first," never dreaming the outcome.
During the exam, she "hmmm"d and "oooh"d and then sasid she would be sending me for an ultrasound and taking a blood test. I shrugged and sasid "ok." During the ultrasound, the technician kept asking me if she was hurting me - - uh NO. I wasn't in pain at all!
A few days after the ultrasound, my doctor called me at 9 pm (LATE!) to tell me that she wanted to send me to a specialist. The blood test, which turned out to be a CA125 (the test for ovarian cancer), came back extremely high. She also said that there was a mass on my right ovary. SHE made the appointment for the next day - not leaving me any choice in the matter.
I went to the doctor per my other doctor's instructions and he repeated all these tests and when those results were in, he sat me down and told me what he thought was going on. Ovarian cancer! I was shocked! I never miss a yearly exam! How could this be! Oh my goodness! What was I going to tell my husband of just a few months? And what about my kids?! I didn't want my ex husband raising them - no way - after all, I have sole custody for a reason!
So I came home and talked to my husband. He was wonderful! He hugged me and told me that everything would be ok! And that things would work out! We called the doctor back that day and scheduled surgery. This was in October. However, the first available operating room wasn't until January!! I had to live with this THING in my body for months until he could get me in. During that time, the mass was growing and growing. Also during that time, I was praying - - making deals with G-d - - can you imagine!? I would have given anything for Him to help me through this! And He did!
January 3rd was my scheduled surgery. During the months prior, the doctor and I discussed that he would go in, remove not only the affected area, but everything else! And he did! I had a complete hysterectomy.
Two weeks after surgery when we got the final results, the doctor indeed made a wise choice. The first ovary was in Stage 1A of ovarian cancer. The second ovary had a small mass forming. Everything else was clean. There was nothing else affected - - not a gland, not a peice of tissue! That was incredible news! I had oral chemo for six months and then nothing.
During my recovery, my husband and I sat down and discussed how we wanted to build our family. Yes, we had 2 beautiful children who my husband loved as if he had fathered them, but we had dreamed of having at least one child together. We both answered at the same time - - ADOPTION! So I sat down at my computer and researched agencies and procedures, etc.
The first agency told us that 1) my husband was too old to adopt (he had just turned 35), 2) I had 2 children already and most potential birth moms did not want families with children to adopt their babies and 3) why would I want MORE children? SHEESH! So that agency was OUT.
We agonized for months before deciding to go to introductory meetings with other agencies. Because I am Jewish and my husband is Catholic, we had to really weed out the agencies. Some agencies wouldn't even TALK to us because I was Jewish. One agency even had the audacity to tell me that if they accepted a Jew, they would be "lowering their standards." We finally decided on Catholic Charities - yes, you read that correctly!
From that first phone call, they were wam and welcoming! We went to the first introductory meeting and we fell instantly in love with the worker. We started our adoption classes a month later! They even switched things around to get us into a Monday class since that was my husband's ONLY day off during the week. He works nights and didn't want to take 9 weeks off of work.
During our classes, we changed our minds about adoption. Not that we didn't WANT to adopt - it was the WAY we wanted to adopt. Yes, we wanted a newborn - but knew that it may not happen. So we decided to do the foster/adopt program. On August 5th, our homestudy was complete, our classes were finished and we became a licensed home.
From August until October, I was on adoption websites constantly looking for "OUR" child. Then we got a phone call - it was from a worker in Colorado about a little boy they wanted to place. She had called our worker about a different family and our worker said that WE were the better match. We were thrilled! She sent us pictures, a short bio of the little boy and the foster family's phone number.
From October through January, we had emailed, called and talked to this little boy - whose name was the same as our youngest child's. On my husband's 40th birthday, this little boy (who did NOT know we wanted to adopt him) sent him a digital picture of himself wishing my husband a happy birthday! During this time, I had asked for records, official reports, etc and had been given the reply of "when the ICPC goes through. OK!
January 17th, the worker from Colorado came to visit. Along with her came the official reports on the little boy. Eight hours later, after reading detailed reports on him, we backed out of the placement. In those reports was information of a boy with major issues. Issues we had specifically asked about and were told DIDN'T exist - issues we said numerous times, we couldn't handle.
I was devastated. Three days later - on January 20th - we told the worker from Colorado that we couldn't go forward with the adoption. During that entire time, I had been getting this boy's room in order. We got a new bed, dressers, toys, painted walls, put in new bedding - everything to have him come home with us before his 5th birthday. All this for a child we were never going to have!
Then exactly 7 days later, I was sitting at my desk reading email from a friend. In this email was an adoption situation. Identical twin girls in New York who wanted a Jewish family! That was US! I immediately called the number. The woman on the other end of the line told us to fax her our homestudy immediately. She would present it to the birth mom. We did! She chose US! We were to fly to New York that next weekend and pick up our daughters! I called our adoption worker and left a message for her about this situation. An hour later, when the phone rang, it was our adoption worker.
I had assumed it was to tell us that she had faxed New York the additional information that they needed. It was HER, but it wasn't about the girls - it was THE phone call. It's a good thing I was sitting down. She said that she had an infant for us. BUT - - she had two brothers with her. The baby was local and was going to be released from the hospital that day! And we had 10 minutes to make up our minds. I asked for more information and put her on hold and called my husband.
We discussed the situation, which would mean a very large life change for all of us. But he asked me what my gut said. It said YES! So he told me to with my gut.
I got back on the phone with our worker and told her that we would accept placement. She said that there was a catch though - it would be a LONG foster placement with an eventual adoption. My gut STILL said "go for it!"
This was at 11 am - by 6 pm, we had 2 cribs set up and I was pacing the foyer floor waiting for our worker to arrive. At 6:30 pm, a car pulled into the driveway. It was HER! I ran outside to help and saw 6 sets of eyes peering at me from inside the car. I met the oldest boy first. He was smiling and laughing and just being THREE! Then I met the youngest boy - then 15 months old. His eyes were vacant and he held NO expression on his face. My heart just broke for him.
Then I saw this tiny thing in an incredibly large car seat - she was SO tiny. I went to go pick her up and our worker playfully slapped my hand away. She said that after all this time, it was her privilege to hand me the baby herself.
She picked up the infant whose name was the same as the boy who we had planned on adopting just a few days prior - how's that for b'shert? - and placed her in my arms. I swear I wanted to cry! Why I didn't, I will never know. Our daughter was placed in my arms at 6:40 pm on January 27, 2003, just 7 SHORT days after she was born.
I don't think any of us got any sleep that night. All we could do was hold the kids and let them know that they were safe. We made them a promise then - that we would always keep them safe.
After a very long road - of many ups and downs - the decision was made. The State had decided that the best thing for the kids would be for them to change the goal of returning the kids to their birth family to one of adoption.
Our worker called us a month later and told us that the birth mother wanted to meet with us. We agreed. We met with her a week later and when we entered the room, we didn't know what to expect. We had met her before and it had not been pleasant. She was under the impression that we disliked her - which wasn't true. We had only disliked the situation she was in - not her as a person.
During the meeting, she told us that she wanted us, specifically, to adopt the kids. She explained her reasons why and we thanked her for her confidence in us. She brought with her pictures of the kids when they were small (the boys, that is) and some pictures of them during their weekly visits. She even brought us a picture of herself as a small child.
At the end of the meeting, we all hugged and we assured her that we would make sure the kids knew where they came from and that I would keep in touch with them with updates and pictures of the kids as they grew to adulthood. To date, I have kept that promise - and I always will. It is important for children to know where they came from and WHO they came from. After all, its what makes them WHO they are.
In December of 2004 we all went to court and the birth parents signed documents releasing their parents rights over to us. My heart truly broke for them as I knew this was a decision not easily made - by anyone.
Due to the slowness of our court system, the final adoption papers couldnt be signed until August 29, 2005 - the day we call Adoption Day! The kids are officially adopted.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Introductions
Our oldest daughter who will be 17 in September is also a Junior in high school with plans to go onto college. She would like to delcare her major as "pre-med" with a minor in neuropsychology. Because of her brother, she wants to go into genetics and help determine a way to diagnose Autism and Aspergers quicker than her brother's diagnosis.
Our next oldest son just turned 7 in February. He is a sweet boy who has had to overcome alot in his young life - - abuse, neglect and drug exposure not to mention being moved 5 times until his placement with our family. He and his younger brother and sister were our foster children for 2 1/2 years until we were given the gift of being able to adopt them. He was placed with us just shy of his 4th birthday. What once was an angry and violent little boy is now a calm, loving, and normal 7 year old with dreams of someday becoming a police officer.
Our youngest son is 4 years old and had a rough start in life - - drug exposure, drug overdose at birth, abuse and neglect. He was a non-verbal child who didnt react to even the slightest hug or kiss. Now he is the one to initiate hugging and kissing in our family. The first time he smiled and called me "mommy" I cried - it was 6 months after his placement into our home. He is now a laughing, smiling and loving little man. He is doing well academically as well as emotionally and socially even though he has a long way to go.
Our youngest daughter was also born drug exposed but came to us early on in life - she was 7 days old. From a little bundle until now, she has blossomed into a beautiful child. She is loving and sweet and very intelligent. She is the apple of her daddy's eyes and people comment on how she has her daddy wrapped around her little finger.
Last but not least - our dog Mr. Magoo is a 3 month old Boston Terrier puppy. He loves to lick and play with all the kids. The kids just love him!